Estado Gripal

Estado gripal = I have the flu. Suffering all weekend long, I finally decided last night to try to figure out my international insurance and drag my snotty butt to the clinic. The nice lady I spoke to on the phone made it sound all too easy. All you have to do is go onto our website and find an approved hospital!

....right. Since everything in Chile is that easy. I should have known better. I took a cab to Clinica Alemana and handed over my insurance card. The receptionist looked at it, gave it back, and told me that I would have to have the insurance company fax over a pre-approval form or else pay upfront. Since I still have a cell phone fabricated in approximately 1992, I blew my nose, grabbed some extra tissues, and found a pay phone in hopes of making an international call - on a Sunday - to Cigna in the US so that they could send over this required form. After about 10 failed attempts, in addition to 3 tries on my parents phone numbers (which also didn't make it through), I determined that either the phone did not make international calls despite the instructions on the booth, or that my head was too clogged to think clearly enough to figure it out.

I returned to the waiting room and was called about 20 minutes later. Real urgent in urgent care. A nurse came in and took my vital signs and asked why I was crying. I told her honestly that I didn't know. Who cries when they go to urgent care on a Sunday night in a foreign country because they don't feel good and can't figure out how to do anything right? Seriously...some people could learn a thing or two about bedside manner. Rule #1: don't ask a crying patient why she is crying. It doesn't make things any better.

Once the doctor came and checked me out he told me I was going to need a chest x-ray to make sure I didn't have pneumonia. I argued with him that it was unnecessary, especially because I didn't know how my insurance worked, but he assured me that it was absolutely necessary and that he would not be able to diagnose me without it. I didn't have the energy to fight him, even though I could see his face practically light up when he walked in the room and saw a gringo with that "international insurance." It makes you wonder how many hopeless expats come into the hospitals here in a vulnerable state and just give in because they don't feel good.

Next thing I knew, another nurse was by my side fixing an IV into my arm with "the drugs the doctor says you need." I made a note to look up what Ketoprofeno was when I got home. That was just another mistake to add to the list of events. Note to self - next time you go to Urgent Care in Chile, do not wikipedia the drugs they inject through an IV drip when you get home. According to the article, the indication of Ketoprofen is as follows: "Ketoprofen is generally prescribed for arthritis-related inflammatory pains or severe toothaches that result in the inflammation of the gums." How did my description of a runny nose, soar throat and cough translate to arthritis or severe toothache?

Two chest x-rays, two mystery pills, and a bill for 171,282 pesos later (approximately $340 US), I had a doctor's note to keep me out of work for the next three days...or so I thought. I emailed my boss to let him know that the doctor had given me a note which I took to be "licencia" meaning that I didn't have to go to work for the next 72 hours. He had a runner come to my apartment this morning to pick it up, because in order to be exempt from work, you are required to turn the note into HR that day. What kind of stupid rule is that? If you can't come into work, how are you supposed to turn in the note? When my manager turned the note in for me later, apparently, it was not the "proper form." Fortunately, luck was on my side and he was able to convince them to accept the note. All I was told is that I need a note with the doctor's name, the name of the clinic, my diagnosis, and the period of time that I was to stay out of work. Mine had all of those, was on the hospital's letter head, had both my and the doctor's personal RUT (like the Chilean equivalent of a Social Security Number) and the names of all 4 drugs he prescribed, which, by the way, are not working AT ALL.

The cherry on top of it all was the bill. I reviewed what I was charged for while waiting for 45 minutes for the cab that I called to take me home. There was a charge for 43 pesos for Paracetamol - that is about 8 cents!! Really?? They even itemized and charged me for the tube that the IV went into in my arm, and the gauze they used to stop the bleeding once they took it out. I really hope I don't get sick here too many more times. It is NO FUN. I hate to be negative, but hey - I have the flu!

Chili in Chile

Contrary to popular belief, Chileans do not eat chili, nor do they typically even like (or know about) spicy food. As a Texan living in Chile, I have an insatiable craving for spicy food. The hotter the better, right? Tonight I set out to introduce real Texan (turkey) chili to Chile. Granted, as a "hoof-a-tarian" as my mother would like to call it (e.g. I don't eat anything with a hoof), real Texan chili is difficult to accomplish without the standard ground beef and/or sausage/bacon complements, however, I feel like the unusual flavors and extra kick were exactly what a dinner party was asking for on a random Tuesday night. Sadly, I learned that I only have 4 spoons in my furnished apartment and had to make due with unmatching bowls, but that is probably the least of the problems I faced in making chili in Chile. We can all eat with our hands, right? Just kidding...but, admittedly, I used a fork and made my friend Lauren enjoy her meal with a wooden spoon. So much for being a good hostess....Here's the closest thing to the recipe that I can replicate for what I made:

INGREDIENTS:
2 tbsp olive oil
1 yellow onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, minced
1 extra large green pepper, seeded and chopped
1 red pepper, seeded and chopped
1 yellow pepper, seeded and chopped
1 jalapeno, seeded and chopped
1 lb ground turkey
2 tbsp chili powder
2 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tbsp paprika
1 tbsp paprika
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground pepper
3 tbsp instant hot cocoa mix
2 tsp seasoned salt
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 can garlic diced tomatoes (15 oz approx.)
1 8 oz (totally guess on this one) of tomato paste
~14 oz canned pinto beans (mine were actually in a box and not measured in ounces)
1/2 beer (in my case, Heineken was the only beer in my fridge)
1/2 can (haha...no canned veggies in Chile) or equivalent of kernel corn
2 tbsp (or more!!) Cholula
sour cream
grated cheese
diced onions

DIRECTIONS:
Note: This recipe was adapted for the difficulty of obtaining desired products in Chile, however as a result of smuggling illegal spices through customs when I went home for Christmas coupled with the Chilean Walmart subsidiary, Lider, I was able to make some BOMB chili. Change it up however you like and it should turn out great! (As long as you are Texan ;)...haha)

1. Heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onion, garlic, peppers, and jalapeno; cook and stir until the onion is transparent. Push these to one side of the pot and crumble in the ground turkey. Cover, and cook for about 8 minutes, stirring occasionally without mixing the veggies (ensuring that the garlic doesn't burn) and meat. Once the meat is no longer pink, stir everything together.

2. Season with chili powder, red pepper flakes, paprika, cumin, pepper, cocoa mix and seasoned salt. Stir in Worcestershire sauce, diced tomatoes, tomato sauce and pinto beans. Crack open the beer, and pour in about 1/2. Find your boyfriend (or some other guy) to drink the rest. Partially cover the pot and simmer over medium heat for about 50 minutes, stirring occasionally.

3. Mix in the corn and Cholula and simmer for 10 more minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool for a few minutes before serving.

4. Top with diced onions, grated cheese and sour cream. AND CELEBRATE!! YOU JUST MADE CHILI IN CHILE!

Okay, so I know the Cholula is a little specific, but I am obsessed with it, and almost named my cat after it, so if you can find it -DO! (Snickers ended up fitting her sweet, peanutty cat personaliy better than hotsauce.) If you live in Florida, California or Texas, you have no excuse for using Tabasco or some other sub-par equivalent. Secondly, I know some people actually eat beef, so I am sure this is probably good with ground beef (or even more ground turkey, but that was REALLY hard to find in Chile) and/or some added bacon. In addition, please feel free to drink the rest of the beer. I personally prefer Chilean Savignon Blanc to beer, so I was merely recanting my evening in true blog style. And finally, please, please, please if it is your power to bake/buy/find jalapeno corn bread (or any variation of cornbread), serve it up with a delicious pot of Chile Chili!

For those of you that could care less about cooking, there is more to the story than a great recipe. First, the look of surprise on the faces of my American friends was unforgettable when I told them that there was not only Worcestershire sauce and Nesquik cocoa in the chili, but also the look of confusion on the faces of their Chilean and Spanish significant others at the mention of both items. A conversation over the pronunciation of Worcestershire then pursued, ending in a standstill. I still hold that in England, they pronounce it without all the confusing syllables so that is comes out sounding more like "Wuster" (thanks Trey) over the tongue-twister of pronouncing each syllable phonetically would propose. Aside from the challenge in finding what I was searching for (assisted by my visit to the farmer's market this weekend), I had a lot of fun renewing my love for the kitchen, so-be-it in a strange and foreign kitchen, but a kitchen, nonetheless. I couldn't have been more pleased when Jackie's Spanish boyfriend asked me for the recipe. How often does a guy want to know how to make something? Sadly, after realizing that I didn't exactly have one, and any version of a "recipe" I could offer was riddled with ingredients available specifically either in Chile, the US, but neither Spain (his home country) nor Peru (where Eduardo is moving next week), he quietly left my "recipe" behind. I can't say that I am offended since he finished off two bowls of the chili.

All I know is the bowl of chili in the picture above was worth the effort and something worth bringing to Chile. I am still curious though how a country called CHILE doesn't eat spicy food, but I guess that is something for me to work out on my own.

Farmer's Market

I just got back from the little "farmer's market" on the corner of my street where they sell the freshest produce for practically nothing. Honestly, one of the best things about Chile is their produce. It is unbelievably cheap! This place is almost giving it away! Here's my receipt:

For those of you who don't speak spanish (or even those of you who don't speak Chilean spanish because they seem to have different words for a lot of vegetables), this is what I bought:

5 Bananas
2 Haas avocados
1 Red Pepper
.47 kg Green Grapes
3 Nectarines
4 Apricots
.19 kg Cherries
1 Green Pepper
1 White Onion
1 Head of Iceberg Lettuce

TOTAL COST: 3,790 CLP or $7.41 USD

It doesn't even matter if I can't eat it all this week, because it's so cheap! I bought a blender last weekend, so I am excited to make myself a smoothie and a salad. Delish!

South America Bucket List

In the spirit of New Year's Resolutions, rather than making any goals this year based on false hopes that I may lose 5 kg, drink less wine, or become president, I have decided to focus my attention on achievable, yet spectacular disaderatums. My aspiration for 2012 is to check off each item on my "South America Bucket List." Financial circumstances and vacation days providing, I have high hopes that I will be more successful on this New Year's Reso than past attempts to pay off my credit card debt or donate more to charity.

And now....for the Bucket List:

1. Snorkle with giant sea turtles in the Galapagos Islands (Ecuador)
2. Bike around Easter Island on Easter looking at the famous moai (Chile)
3. Hike the Incan ruins of Macchu Picchu (Peru)
4. Scale the peaks of Torres del Paine in the Patagonia (Chile)
5. Sandboard in the dunes at San Pedro de Atacama (Chile)
6. Play with penguins on Chilóe Island (Chile)
7. Learn to tango in Buenos Aires (Argentina)
8. Sunbathe with bikini-clad Brazilians in Rio de Janero (Brazil)
9. Go wine-tasting in Mendoza (Argentina)
10. Ski the Andes in Valle Nevado (Chile)
11. Cultivate my knowledge of the indigenous peoples of Copacabana on Lake Titicaca (Bolivia)
12. Find peace and tranquility at Iguazú Falls (Argentina)
13. Photograph jaguars on a safari in The Pantanal (Brazil)
14. Visit the port of Valparaiso (Chile)
15. Relax with South America's elite in Punte del Este (Uruguay)

I am cutting my list off at 15, because I don't make enough money to add anything else to it. As it currently stands, I will have to go somewhere approximately every three weeks in order to complete my Bucket List. I've already got tickets to #2, and an itinerary is in the making for #1 and #3. I better start planning if I am going to make it down to 15 before the end of the world in December.

Año Nuevo in Concón

For those of you who aren´t spanish speakers (or Chilean speakers, for that matter), Año Nuevo is spanish for New Years. Friday afternoon, after attempting to focus for the 5 hours that I actually lasted in the office, I met up with Eric so that we could head to the bus station, yet again, to join the rest of Santiago on the beach for the weekend. I purchased our bus tickets before leaving for the US for Christmas to avoid the nightmare that happened when I attempted to go to Viña del Mar on a holiday weekend the first time. We got to the bus station with about 30 minutes to spare before the time stated on our ticket, which is really about 45 minutes early in Chilean time, since nothing ever seems to happen on time. Upon arrival at the terminal, I went to the Condor Bus window to ask the clerk which platform our bus would be leaving from. He directed me to another Condor Bus window after telling me that we were at the La Alameda bus terminal and not San Borja, where we were supposed to be. I specifically asked the woman who sold me the tickets two weeks ago if La Alameda and San Borja were the same terminal. She asserted me confidently that they were. I will never understand why people in Santiago, rather than admitting that they don't know the answer to a question, simply lie and tell you what they think you want to hear. Nonetheless, we were able to catch our bus due to the fact that San Borja apparently is one stop before La Alameda and our bus would be passing through the station we were at only 20 minutes later. Thank the Baby Jesus that I didn't screw up the whole weekend for both of us! All of the buses within a 50 mile radius of Concón were sold out for the entire weekend at that point. We would have been stuck to melt in Santiago with the rest of the people who planned poorly.

We were dropped on the side of a road once we got to Concón and left to our own defenses to determine a) where the heck we were, and b) how to get to the house we were renting with our friends. Following a suggestion from the owner of the house, we attempted to hop into a collectivo, which is essentially a shared cab run by the public transportation system that charges far less than a regular cab with a more expansive reach than the bus system. Neither Eric nor I had taken a collectivo before, and we quickly learned that there is no etiquite to doing so. We casually approached the first one to stop at our posting on the side of the road, hoping to catch a ride to our house. All of a sudden 4 crazy old ladies ran before us, gave Eric the worst stink-eye I have ever witnessed, hopped in and slammed the door. So much for that option, I guess. We soon spotted a normal cab (which still only cost $3 to get to our destination) and were happily en route to the house.

We spent the weekend barbequing, teaching the Chileans our drinking games, relaxing outside and having a good time. I don't know how it is possible that I didn't learn my lesson last year getting fried on New Year's Eve at the beach in Australia, but I managed to do it again. The rest of my compatriots fared just as poorly with sunburns ranging from mild to incapacitating. The Chileans among our party somehow managed to stay a nice golden brown color. So unfair!

On Saturday night, after a big asado, we packed up the coolers, grabbed some blankets and headed toward the beach for the fireworks show. There were two platforms set up our in the ocean that blasted off fireworks for about half an hour beginning around midnight. At the stroke of midnight, everyone popped their champagne and sprayed it all over each other. Not a bad way to bring in the New Year!