Estado Gripal

Estado gripal = I have the flu. Suffering all weekend long, I finally decided last night to try to figure out my international insurance and drag my snotty butt to the clinic. The nice lady I spoke to on the phone made it sound all too easy. All you have to do is go onto our website and find an approved hospital!

....right. Since everything in Chile is that easy. I should have known better. I took a cab to Clinica Alemana and handed over my insurance card. The receptionist looked at it, gave it back, and told me that I would have to have the insurance company fax over a pre-approval form or else pay upfront. Since I still have a cell phone fabricated in approximately 1992, I blew my nose, grabbed some extra tissues, and found a pay phone in hopes of making an international call - on a Sunday - to Cigna in the US so that they could send over this required form. After about 10 failed attempts, in addition to 3 tries on my parents phone numbers (which also didn't make it through), I determined that either the phone did not make international calls despite the instructions on the booth, or that my head was too clogged to think clearly enough to figure it out.

I returned to the waiting room and was called about 20 minutes later. Real urgent in urgent care. A nurse came in and took my vital signs and asked why I was crying. I told her honestly that I didn't know. Who cries when they go to urgent care on a Sunday night in a foreign country because they don't feel good and can't figure out how to do anything right? Seriously...some people could learn a thing or two about bedside manner. Rule #1: don't ask a crying patient why she is crying. It doesn't make things any better.

Once the doctor came and checked me out he told me I was going to need a chest x-ray to make sure I didn't have pneumonia. I argued with him that it was unnecessary, especially because I didn't know how my insurance worked, but he assured me that it was absolutely necessary and that he would not be able to diagnose me without it. I didn't have the energy to fight him, even though I could see his face practically light up when he walked in the room and saw a gringo with that "international insurance." It makes you wonder how many hopeless expats come into the hospitals here in a vulnerable state and just give in because they don't feel good.

Next thing I knew, another nurse was by my side fixing an IV into my arm with "the drugs the doctor says you need." I made a note to look up what Ketoprofeno was when I got home. That was just another mistake to add to the list of events. Note to self - next time you go to Urgent Care in Chile, do not wikipedia the drugs they inject through an IV drip when you get home. According to the article, the indication of Ketoprofen is as follows: "Ketoprofen is generally prescribed for arthritis-related inflammatory pains or severe toothaches that result in the inflammation of the gums." How did my description of a runny nose, soar throat and cough translate to arthritis or severe toothache?

Two chest x-rays, two mystery pills, and a bill for 171,282 pesos later (approximately $340 US), I had a doctor's note to keep me out of work for the next three days...or so I thought. I emailed my boss to let him know that the doctor had given me a note which I took to be "licencia" meaning that I didn't have to go to work for the next 72 hours. He had a runner come to my apartment this morning to pick it up, because in order to be exempt from work, you are required to turn the note into HR that day. What kind of stupid rule is that? If you can't come into work, how are you supposed to turn in the note? When my manager turned the note in for me later, apparently, it was not the "proper form." Fortunately, luck was on my side and he was able to convince them to accept the note. All I was told is that I need a note with the doctor's name, the name of the clinic, my diagnosis, and the period of time that I was to stay out of work. Mine had all of those, was on the hospital's letter head, had both my and the doctor's personal RUT (like the Chilean equivalent of a Social Security Number) and the names of all 4 drugs he prescribed, which, by the way, are not working AT ALL.

The cherry on top of it all was the bill. I reviewed what I was charged for while waiting for 45 minutes for the cab that I called to take me home. There was a charge for 43 pesos for Paracetamol - that is about 8 cents!! Really?? They even itemized and charged me for the tube that the IV went into in my arm, and the gauze they used to stop the bleeding once they took it out. I really hope I don't get sick here too many more times. It is NO FUN. I hate to be negative, but hey - I have the flu!